When I deal with individual dysfunction, either in thought or behaviour I often wonder what could be the origin of this challenge. This rambling sometimes takes me to the world of abstract reality and I start connecting dots. Let’s imagine a family as one human body. Father makes the head (brain) mother as a heart and other unique roles and functions played by every family member. A synergy between each body part is critical to keep the body functional. For instance, when arms/legs are hurt or injured, head and heart support the process of quick recovery strengthening every cell with Hope and optimism. When there is weak head, heart takes over the leading role.

The human body intuitively knows persistence and sustenance of the core (soul/essence). However, in the world of logic, when one family member becomes dysfunctional, the other members of the family judge, blame, shame and outcast the dysfunctional family member causing a more profound familial and individual pain. Families disown and dismiss their very own parts. The act of self-abandonment, as a consequence, disrupts the whole body (the whole family unit). Eventually, the family calls for a collective crisis of consciousness.

The bottom line is that no individual dysfunction is personal. We all play a significant role in adding more insult to the particular injury through our actions and non-actions.

The remedy is in two words; Understand and Empathise. Instead of labelling each other as sane or insane, right or wrong, try to validate individual suffering in a particular context to keep the part intact.

See each other from the lens of compassion instead of comparison; You all are one. Your sanity and others’ insanity were part of a bigger life game. Be kind to each other. When people struggle to connect and belong to their origin, their bloodline is almost impossible when they are asked to connect with society or the country. They live in silos. Compassion dissolves barriers, and kindness unblocks the blood flow, transferring healing from the functional parts to the dysfunctional parts, resulting in collective good health and happiness. We are not here to save ourselves, only we are here to help every life we see around. I heal one part of me with every help I offer to my fellow human beings. We all make unique parts of one collective body of humanity.

Dr. Iram Irshad Bhatti

Positive Psychologist