Predominately, I have six inner shades. My first shade is three years old, dark, morbid and deeply aggrieved. Almost tormented. My next shade is seven years old, proactive, agile, talkative, playful and fun-loving. My next shade is 13 years old, confused, ashamed, lost and vulnerable. My next shade is seventeen years old, a people-pleaser with a high need to be loved and accepted. My next shade is twenty-five years old, traumatised, full of self-doubt and low self-esteem. My final shade is forty years old, kind of a daddy shade that is assertive, knowledgeable, and self-righteous.

Whenever some opportunity knocks at my door from the heavens, my inner shades experience a great deal of agitation. All shades start crawling all around the house to take the turn to open the door. Often when daddy shade isn’t home, seventeen years old shade takes over since this shade has charisma, beauty and alluring nature. As a result, when this shade opens the package, all shades circle around her out of curiosity. And of course, seventeen years old shade interprets the box as per its own needs and wants, which often disappoints the rest of the shades, and all other shades with their own respective opinions go back to their chambers after sharing their personal insights leaving the seventeen years old flabbergasted On the other hand when daddy shade is active or at home, all seem quiet though desperately waiting to be heard and seen. In day to day life, all shades remain busy watching tv, playing games doing some cooking and dancing with less or no friction. However, on big occasions such as social get together, they all make lots of noise to register their presence. They often complain about neglect and abandonment but they all know clearly that daddy shade protects them. Once, I took my inner shades for a stroll; we needed a bus on our way back home, so we waited for the bus. Now every bus made my inner shades go crazy because some of my inner shades just looked at the appearance of the bus and wanted to hop in no matter what, while others wanted to see the space inside and decide rationally and some of my inner shades were optimistic. They tried to patiently wait for the right bus where all six shades could equally fit in and relax.

Many a time, it happens that daddy shade takes the inner shadows on one bus, and they all stand against daddy shade. Sometimes, when emotional younger shades take daddy shade for a ride, daddy alone becomes uncomfortable and calls it quits. This inner conflict is Universal and not limited to only one individual. We all frequently struggle with the “To Be or Not to be “dilemma.

Me is a complex term. Me/I is a combination of countless mini versions from birth to the date of consciousness, constantly devolving due to pain. When I say Me, it is one of the dominating shades out of my numerous dormant shades speaking through me about its needs, fears and aspirations.

Life is all about reconciliation, inner reconciliation. Learn to make peace with the haves and not haves.Listen to your inner dividends and their individual needs to understand your complete self hidden under different heads such as emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual heads.

Dr. Iram Irshad Bhatti

Positive Psychologist